My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
