The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize