If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
