So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
