i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
