You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She has the best kind of daddy issues
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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