he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize