I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
