I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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