I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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