I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
