i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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