I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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