we made out on top of his cat.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
