You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Sober January is a disaster.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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