ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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