i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
