Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
