U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
