That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
