She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
