i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize