Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I wish i was in the wii world.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
