Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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