There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
