the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
