Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
