thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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