I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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