She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
