You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
