why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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