You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
