38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
