Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
