Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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