Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
