Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
