Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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