Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
