you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize