Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
