Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
