he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
