You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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