You're so nebulous sometimes
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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