i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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