11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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