Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
