and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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