I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
