Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
