This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
