Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
