But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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