honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
