Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
