She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
