five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Randomize
