You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
