Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
