I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
