Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
